Japan’s first same-sex reality dating show exemplifies a narrative not often seen in mainstream media.
I know this show has gotten a lot of attention and has taken the community on a wild ride. The chokehold it has on us is undeniable.
Why?
For the longest time, our representation in media has solely been as side characters for comedic relief or as lustful himbos who create excitement in hetero-normative story lines. Gay culture has always uplifted and even created facets of pop-culture, but rarely do we find us at the epicenter. The importance of a show like The Boyfriend proves that we are more than just the laughs in your lives or the noises you hear coming from the other room late at night, we are the same as your favorite main characters who are looking for love.
Throughout the series, characters come and go, yet each individual brings us along in their journey. Deeply, do we get invested in each contestant’s search for companionship. From Dai’s introduction as the first house guest to Kazuto and Alan’s final walk away from the Green Room, we empathize, laugh, and cry with each and every one of the characters. Unlike other reality shows, every interaction feels incredulously genuine and we even have the “hosts” of the show reacting alongside us -from laughing at Usak’s dedication to hitting his chicken quota to reassuring us when we feel disheartened when Shun turns down Dai, yet again.
The idea of having the contestants work together in shifts to encourage quality time and get to know each other more is a very wholesome concept. As the shifts isolate the pairs, we see, in earnest, who is interested in who. Every single time a person is announced to work, they are very much declaring their interest in another individual by asking them to work with them that day. We can see a quiet tension rise on some days, disappointment on others, and an unabashed joy on most days when these confessions are made. While we see Dai and Kazuto working fairly often, we get an intimate idea of what led to each person’s decision to choose their partner for the day and how the shift affected their view on said partner. The closing shift recaps always proved to be beautifully sincere moments.
*Sidebar: Did anybody else feel like their shifts were a lot longer than your typical 9-5?
Another interesting mechanic of this series are the dates, which only occur if a contestant’s feelings are mutual when they submit the name of the person they would like to go on a date with. The concept thus encourages potential couples to dive deeper into their relationship. When the dates are announced, it is an immediate validation of the person’s feelings. These dates have taken the viewers on rollercoasters as Shun and Dai’s first date, as well as Kazuto and Alan’s first date that did not have the desired effect the next day. I guess in retrospect, neither did Gensei and Ryota’s. It seems like it was the second date for both couples, ShunxDai and KazutoxAlan, that feelings/interest were solidified. I guess that’s something we can all take to heart, see how you’re feeling after the second date if it ever gets that far.
Each contestant, from the very beginning, had hopes to find the courage to express their feelings in their search for love. I repeat, they wanted to find the courage to express their feelings in the search for love. I think that this level of emotional intelligence is something lost when it comes to dating shows in general. The participants were always very careful in their wording – “I am attracted to you” or “I want to get to know you more.” They found sincere emotions and expressed themselves very clearly without forcing notions of love on their potential partners, because confessions without clarity can be very overwhelming. The series then painted a detailed journey of each contestant’s relationships with one another, until the finale when Shun proclaimed his love for Dai, despite their hardships. While many may have found Shun difficult, we can see why his love for Dai was apparent, and why Dai’s reciprocated words were said without a doubt. The hardships made way for love, but I guess that’s a tale as old as time, but now we were able to witness it within our own community on such a grand scale.
Other than Shun and Dai’s relationship, we see Kazuto and Alan having a cheerful goodbye to the Green Room as well. Their relationship was not as tumultuous, but it was not without fault, seen when Kazuto felt that Alan was moving too fast on their first solo date. When you juxtapose these couples, similar experiences can be seen – just without the mood swings.
But of course a dating series isn’t complete without a few heartaches. We have had very tender moments from the beginning, learning of Shun’s upbringing as an orphan to the last words that Gensei heard from his father. But there were also moments that left us completely broken. Our first heartache of the series would definitely have to be when Usak felt guilty about buying expensive chicken BUT our second – okay fine, our first TRUE HEARTACHE, that thoroughly crushed us, was when he confessed his feelings to Kazuto and announced that he would be leaving. Second heartache – during the picnic when Ryota clearly spoke of his love for Kazuto in front of Gensei knowing very well how Gensei felt about him. Third heartache was Taeheon asking the others about their journey in coming out, while the scene was more hopeful than sad, I’m sure we can all relate to his fears and worries about coming out to his parents.
Overall, The Boyfriend was a sweet and heartwarming show about youth, friendship, and love. The series felt more intimate and sincere than most dating shows and it was so refreshing to join people from our community on this journey. The show never felt dramatic or messy, which seems to be a trend for dating shows in general, because of its sincerity. While those of us in the West have our own perceptions and rules about dating, witnessing such wholesome feelings from a gay Asian perspective on a major streaming platform is an amazing milestone in representation for the LGBTQ+ community. I would rate this show a 4.5/5.
G.A.P.I.N.G. Magazine 
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